The Unexpected Goodbye

While everybody was enjoying their Christmas celebration, there I was crying in pain. The man that I loved the most left me. He has given up on me. I can't blame him. I have the worst attitude in relationships. My first boyfriend, the man who said he'll marry me, the man who promised to be with me through thick and thin has finally decided to leave me.

I did my best to make him stay. I begged. I cried bucket of tears. I ask him for one last chance but it was over. I feel bad about myself. I wish I didn't hurt him too much. If only I treated him well maybe we will still be together. Everything was unexpected. He said good bye and I can't do anything with it.

I got sad. I hated myself but what can I do.

After being hurt for a couple of days, I started to pick myself up and stand up again. I know it will not be easy for me to forget him. A part of me has died when he left. However, life is still great. I just hope to move on fast. I don't want to cry anymore because it is very tiresome. I wish him well and I always pray for him to be healed. 

I'm just sad that it ended this way. :'(

One Year

I am happy. Tomorrow is our " FIRST YEAR ANNIVERSARY"

Yipee! I am thankful. Finally a rainbow has come after a big storm.

I hope it will not happen again. 

I just need to think positively. 

I'm crossing my fingers now, hoping and praying for our relationship to become stronger and so much better :D

stronger. :D

Even the Best Fall Down Sometimes

Everything was a fairy tale. It was last year when I received a strange message from someone. It sparked my interest. It was my first time to experience being wanted by someone. Our first date was in one of the most famous restaurants in Davao.  After that first date, I consistently receive text messages and calls from him. From that time on, I won't deny, my feelings have started to grow. Days past, he told me that he wanted to meet my parents and friends to show his clear intentions. The date was set and that was on September 22, 2012.
September 22, 2012 has come. I was at school but I was really nervous that day. He brought me flowers and a box of cake. I was blushing. I was shock. It was unbelievable. I never thought someone would make me feel as happy as I was feeling at that moment. It was 6 pm when we finally arrived home. My parents gladly welcomed him. We ate dinner. After feeling full, my friends asked him if he really liked me. He was tormented with so many questions from four of my friends plus my brother. I felt so elated because I thought he's the perfect one. It was 8 pm when the grueling interview has finally stopped. My friends decided to go home so that we can both talk. He promised me he'll never hurt me. I was a fool to believe him instantly. Everything was just too fast till he asked me the most important question of the night " Lea Marie Sabroso, will you be my girlfriend?" I was very naive. I didn't think twice. I just said YES!

Oh! I can't believe it! After 21 yrs, someone came to show me his love. It was like a fairytale. The first month was perfect. Consistent text messages, constant i love  you's, I can absolutely say I was really, really happy. We had our first fight when he was sharing the things he was doing with his past. I was so surprised by my reaction. I suddenly got angry at him. Even if he made me sad, he did everything to make me happy again. Later on, our relationship has grown older, we started to discover each others weaknesses and strengths but we still continued to be together. Friends are saying that we're a perfect couple. We're destined for each other and I agreed with them. I felt like he's the man I'm gonna marry someday.

The time came, when I started to become really busy. He was also busy. There were times when promises have started to be broken. We started to face bigger problems but we remained strong. There were times, I wanna give up but he chose to say sorry and everything's okay again. We argue on petty things but we kiss and make up after  few days.

This month, the month of August, he has started to be cold. It seems like he is not the same person I loved before. I finally realized the reason of his sudden change. I shouted at him because I was really angry. I know that this problem is not something petty. Up until now, we're still not okay. I was begging him to choose me instead of the other woman but he chose her over me. Now, I'm totally devastated. I thought we'll be together forever. Now, I know it was just a lie. I was wondering if he really did love me. I thought I had the best. I'm broken to the core and I hate him for making me feel this way. I can't understand why? I have so many questions in my head. I asked him in a nice way, in a harsh way or in any way that can provoke him to answer me but I didn't get any explanations. I don't want to believe in his alibi's because my trust has all gone. I'm going crazy right now. It's very painful on my part. I can't explain how I feel but I know I am hurt. The pain is just so unexplainable. I wish I could be every little thing he wanted but I was not. I hope I'll be healed. I wanna be happy again, even if it means he's not with me anymore.

The Sukiyaki Song

It's all because of you,

I'm feeling sad and blue 

You went away, 

Now my life is just a rainy day and I love you so, 

How much you'll never know 

You've gone away and left me lonely. 

Untouchable memories

Seem to keep haunting me 

Another love so true, 

That once turned all my gray skies blue 

But you disappeared, 

Now my eyes are filled with tears 

And I'm wishing you were here 

With me soaked with love all my thoughts of you 

Now that you're gone I just don't know what to do 

If only you were here, 

You'd wash away my tears 

The sun would shine, 

Once again you'll be mine all mine 

But in reality, you and I will never be cos 

You took your love away from me.

Chorus

Girl, I don't know what I did to make you leave me 

But what I do know is 

That since you've been gone there's such an emptiness inside, 

I'm wishing you to come back to me.

If only you were here, 

You'd wash away my tears

The sun would shine,

Once again you'll be mine all mine

But in reality, 

You and I will never be cos 

You took your love away from me. 

Oh -- Baby you took your love away from me.

source: http://www.lyricsondemand.com/

Meet My New Friends

So We're Okay, We're Fine :D

Those Were The Days

Receiving a text message or a phone call early in the morning.

Sweet nothings sent through love letters, cakes and flowers.

Taking pictures of each other's silly faces.

Writing our bucket list.

Singing to our favorite songs.

Eating out.

Watching our favorite films together.

Cuddling, laughing, hugging each other and exchanging "I LOVE YOU's"

As wonderful as it seems, all of these things belong to those were the days

Dealing with a Heartache

It was September 22, 2012 when I first met the man who made me feel so loved. He was my first boyfriend. He was the first man who made my heart skip a beat. He was the one who gave me flowers, the one who gave me sweet cakes and most especially he was the one who gave those wonderful love letters. He was the one who promised me he'll not let go and he'll marry me when the time's right.

Oh those promises I really cannot forget. Each promise makes me fall for him more and more. I love him. I honestly love him deeply.

But sometimes, good things don't last. After 9 months of being together, today is the day when everything has to end, when  promises were finally broken and  when forever becomes a lie.

I didn't know love is somehow synonymous with pain. I think it's already the end. I think this is goodbye and I hope I will be able to deal with it well. My life should not end here. I still have my family, my friends, and my students who want to see me smile and laugh again.

Happy 9th Monthsary to Us!! :D

What If We were Made for Each Other

What If We were Bestfriends and Lovers

I Wanna Stay Right Here In This Moment With You

Over and Over and Over Again

Oh Boy You Really Make My Heart STOP

What If?

I see you standing over there

You look around without a care

I pretend you notice me

I look in your eyes and what you see

Is it made up in my mind

Am I just wasting time?

I think this could be love

I'm serious

What if we were made for each other?

Born to become best friends and lovers

I want to stay right here in this moment with you

Over and over and over again

What if this could be a real love, a love, a love, yeah?

I write our names down in the sand

Picturing all our plans

I close my eyes and I can see

You, and you ask, "Will you marry me?"

Is it made up in my mind

Am I crazy, just wasting time?

I think this could be love

I'm serious

What if we were made for each other?

Born to become best friends and lovers

I want to stay right here in this moment with you

Over and over and over again

What if this could be a real love, a love, a love, yeah?

I don't know what to think

Is this real or just a dream

In my heart is where you'll be

I'll keep waiting 'til we meet

What if were made for each other?

Born to become best friends and lovers

I want to stay right here in this moment with you

Over and over and over again

What if this could be a real love, a love, a love, yeah?

Oh, you really make my heart stop, stop, stop

Oh what if this is real love?

Oh what if this is real love?

Oh boy, you make my heart stop, you make my heart stop

You make my heart stop

Happy Again. :D

I had a great "me time" yesterday. I first went to Water District to pay for our monthly bill. After that, I went to San Pedro St. just to unwind. And when I say unwind, that means eating out. Yeah! Okay, going back to my story. I was alone, wandering and enjoying my "me time", when I suddenly, I received a message from one of my Grade 1 parents, she said. " Wala ka na pala sa U*** ma'am noh? Thank you ma'am for how you have passionately texted me  for the past ten months." She also said, " I wish you luck and God bless." I was really happy to receive a message like this. After awhile, she texted me again, stating" You're students will be very lucky to have you as their teacher. " Oh my! After receiving this kind of message, I really feel so happy. It's a bit unusual because I thought I wasn't able to do a good job during my "Grade 1 teaching experience." I was about to lose hope in teaching. I always say I am not good a good teacher. I always think negative about my teaching skills. Later I realized, I shouldn't be pessimistic. Maybe I am not the best or even the perfect teacher, but I guess there are still those who can see my heart in teaching and I believe this is the most important thing- be passionate in what you're doing. I still feel happy today. :D

I'm Loving You Everyday

I love you so much. You know who you are. :)

Happily Singing To my Fave Songs

I am currently listening to some wonderful songs from Colbie Caillat's What if and Bubbly and Nina's Saving Forever For You . The breezy nature of these songs make me feel happy. I can see my self smiling from ear to ear. I am also singing along with the song ( I'm a frustrated singer). I feel so happy today. Positivity  is flowing all over my body.

Feeling Determined!! Yeah :)

I've been working on something important. I hope I will be able to create a good article. The problem is, I still don't know what to write about. Anyway, I feel determined to end this task before the deadline. :D

Stressed out!

  I am really sleepy today. I didn't get enough sleep these days. It seems like my circadian rhythm is a little bit confused! I just wanna go home and sleep all day.

I Got a Letter :D

It's a nice feeling to receive a letter from a friend. 

Indeed, FRIENDSHIP is one of the best things in life that money can't buy. 

Thanks Jansky ♥

Love. Love. Love

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.
Lao Tzu 

Where there is love there is life.
Mahatma Gandhi 

The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.
Audrey Hepburn 

The best proof of love is trust.
Joyce Brothers 
 

 Let us always meet each other with smile, for the smile is the beginning of love.

Mother Teresa 

I like not only to be loved, but also to be told I am loved.
George Eliot 
 

A loving heart is the truest wisdom.
Charles Dickens 

Love is when the other person's happiness is more important than your own.
H. Jackson Brown, Jr. 

It's a miracle to find a person who loves you and accepts everything about you. As I always say, I am not perfect. I have a lot of insecurities. For sure, there are many times that you don't understand my mood swings. I know it's hard to deal with me. Thank you for staying anyway. 

You know  I love to make funny faces with you. Let's continue to create good memories together. You are my miracle, my gift from God. I will always love you and I will save my forever with you.

I hope you feel the same way too.

Saving Forever For You

I’ve never been so sureAbout anything beforeBut this loving feelingGonna be a feeling I feel forever more

Looking in your eyesTomorrow’s all I seeLong as there’s forever, babyI will always be

Saving forever for you, oh oh ohYou are the only oneI’ll ever give forever toLove for a lifetime won’t do, oh oh ohWanna always stay togetherSo I’m saving forever for you

You’ll be my worldAs long as there’s a world turning ‘roundAnd you’ll be my heavenBaby, till the heavens all come falling down

Look inside my heart [Oh, yeah]Love is all you’ll seeLoving you forever,Living just to be

Saving forever for you, oh oh ohYou are the only one[ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/saving-forever-for-you-lyrics-nina.html ]I’ll ever give forever toLove for a lifetime won’t do, oh oh ohWanna always stay togetherSo I’m saving forever for you

Forever I’ll be loving youLong as time passes byI’ll be there beside you, hoThrough it all, I’ll be standing by you

Saving forever for you, oh oh ohYou are the only oneI’ll ever give forever toLove for a lifetime won’t do, oh oh ohWanna always stay togetherSo I’m saving forever, saving forever for you

Saving forever for you (Hoo…ooh…ooh…)You are the only oneI’ll ever give forever to (You are the only one)Love for a lifetime won’t do, (oh oh oh)Wanna always stay togetherSo I’m saving forever for you, for you

Saving foreverSaving forever for youSaving forever, (Saving forever)Saving forever for youSaving forever, (Saving forever)Saving forever for youSaving forever, (Saving forever)Saving forever for you..

Missing Them

I have been working in GNA for 1 year. I can still remember my  first day here, that was last April 16, 2012.  I had 8 students then. My schedule was from 8pm-12 mn. I was so nervous.I cannot even say my name and my opening spiel properly. I don't know what to do and I messed up a lot.  I've met many Japanese people. After being able to get  my confidence back, I realized my students were really nice. I teach them English  and they appreciate every single detail of it. They really know how to say thank you for teaching them simple to complex information about English. I feel so happy to be appreciated. I also feel like the most beautiful girl in the world whenever they say, I like your smile, your eyes, and especially your teaching. I feel so elated to be valued by these people knowing that the only thing that connects us is Skype.

After a year, I made one of the greatest decisions in my life and that is to become an ENC teacher. I know this will gain me new experiences. I believe it will teach me new things. However, I have to say good bye to my GNA students/friends. I know I'm not the best. I'm not perfect, I sometimes fail too. I just feel so blessed because despite my incompetence they still reserve a lesson on my time slot. They still listen to my endless rants and about my whatever opinions. I honestly miss them and I feel so glad to receive messages from them congratulating me about my success of entering ENC.

I know ENC  is another challenging journey, but I will never ever forget the things I've learned in GNA. The cool students I've met there. And most especially, the friendship that I've found from my loyal students.

I really hate goodbyes! But for sure I will meet them soon. As of now my experience in GNA will be one of the best and sweetest memories in my life.

New Found Friends :D

Working in a new environment is indeed a be very  terrifying experience, especially for me who is a self proclaimed introvert. I am still struggling on how to deal with people. I don't know how to approach them and I always feel uncomfortable seeing new faces.

Good thing! I found not only one , not two, not three but many very close friends in my new workplace. I am in awe to be taken care of by these people. 

I am expecting for a happier, stronger and more meaningful friendship with them. 

Being happy is a choice and I choose to be happy again.

I know I always hurt you.

 I know I have been so childish.

 I am glad  you didn't leave me.

So  let's be happy forever. 

Hello best friend/lover/everything ♥

When Things Fall Apart

I think the end is near for us to let go of each others hands. 

We'll  live our lives separately again.

I will surely miss our silly moments together.

I hate good byes, but I guess this is the best thing that we should do.

</3

I'm gonna miss you so bad

                                                                                                 

Every moment with you becomes extra special. 

I'm Going Home :D

I'll be going home soon!!

I'm  so excited to see the outside world again.

It seems like I haven't seen the sun for quiet a long time.

It seems like I haven't seen the crowd.

I just can't explain the excitement I feel inside!!

I sound so whatever!! 

but I can't help it :D

Yes! Yes! Yes! 

The Weird Me

Happy again! :D

STOP THINKING AND START PRAYING ♥

EXCITED!!

I'm so excited to eat my lunch today. Pork giniling plus pipino salad on the side is really a perfect combination.I'm gonna sip a cup of coffee too( It's always winter wonderland in my area)

 Happy lunch friends!! 

I hate this feeling, when I feel sad with no reasons. Am I crazy? 

The Things I Wish I Have

Oh! I just wish to have a Hello Kitty bedroom. I'm gonna make it come true someday. 

I don't know why but Hello Kitty has swept me off my feet. She's the prettiest, most adorable cartoon character ever! I wish to have Hello Kitty collections. If you wanna give me a gift, don't worry I'm not picky especially if you'll give me Hello Kitty items.

A Teaching Position in the Public School

Yeah! You got it right! I wish I could get in the Public school soon. I love my job right now. It's just that my parents want me to be there even if I know I am not yet ready. Sometimes life can be so hard but I believe I will soon get this position. I wanna enjoy my present job. I love the people here and I like my students too. After all, this job of mine is still related to my course. :D

I hope to have a laptop before this year ends. I know it would be hard for me to get an expensive gadget like this,but this is one of my greatest dream; and when I dream I pursue it because I don't dream that much.. haha.. Whatever! I'm gonna get you soon.





And of course my greatest dream not only for today but for always is to really be happy. Sometimes happiness is just so hard to find.

Feeling cute!!

It still feels cold after putting my jacket on. :(

My Family

My ultimate blessing. ♥

It's our first family picture this year. Thank you Lord for this family. I feel honored to have them.

Brunettes

Friends Forever ♥

This is my 2nd family. My ultimate BFF's. I just can't imagine my college life without them. They are a big part of who I am today. They're truly my unbiological sisters. Missing them already. Hope to see you soon.

MY ♥ SKIPS A BEAT WHEN I'M WITH YOU

I am loved by you. 

Sipping a cup of coffee in this very cold day.

Am I qualified to become a McDonald's hot coffee endorser? Of course.. Yes! No doubt! I am even overqualified. Joke! :D

What Keeps Me Going!

Eating. Sleeping. Reading books. Watching movies. Listening to music. Having classes with my cool Japanese students. Meeting my friends. Meeting new friends. Being with my love ones. Enjoying silly moments with MYLOVE ♥.These are my happy pills.. Yeah!

Continue to smile and be happy all the time because life is beautiful.  I always say these words to my students. I want to share my happiness with them and hopefully I was able to influence them in a positive way. :)

Finally an ENC Teacher

Happy for this new experience. One of my greatest blessings this 2013

After two weeks of grueling training, finally, I am already an ENC teacher. I can't believe I passed the training! Thank you Lord!